Woman with a Burrito
Sunday, October 4, 2009 at 11:45PM P.S. (as in pre-script) I’m leaving L.A. for two weeks. I got myself a short-term gig. But it’s top secret so I can’t talkie talkie here. I’m still going to be posting to HHH, but long-distance style. Once I get back (safe and sound) to L.A. we shall discuss…and no, this job doesn’t involve me removing my clothes or swallowing condoms full of heroine and smuggling them across any borders. I most likely won’t be going to jail.
Okay, enough of that mystery shit, onto the goods. So last week I’m sitting at an outdoor concert at the Hollywood Bowl. It’s a perfect late summer evening—the boobies are nippin’, but not freezing. The concert is a selection of different Indian artists including Ravi Shankar and his daughter Anoushka, who’s a major babe by the way. She seduced every man and woman in that audience. At one point I leaned over to Jon and whispered, “I know who I’m going to be when we’re having sex tonight.” TMI? Sorrs.
There’s sitar, there’s turbans, and the audience is dressed in saris and millions of bracelets. I’m eating a perfect burrito, grooving to the music and in that moment, loving everything about L.A.
The Bowl, all lit up purty
And then I suddenly remember a long forgotten childhood dream—to be a belly dancer. As a kid I was utterly and completely obsessed. I somehow managed to obtain finger cymbals and wore them around EV-ER-Y-WHERE. My poor mother. I would talk and chime away, accenting the parts of my sentence I felt needed emphasis.
“Practicing handwriting (clank! clank!) is sooo boring (clank! clank! clank!).”
I would put on my long, flowery skirt, any scarf I could get my cymballed hands on, poof my belly in and out and chime, chime, chime away. For three Halloweens in a row, I went as a gypsy belly dancer. I was convinced it was my calling.
Um, who doesn't want to be her?
And then I turned 10 and apparently my classmates became Halloween costume critics and it was no longer politely overlooked that I wore the same costume three years running. And being a gypsy belly dancer wasn’t cool like being Madonna, Mario and Luigi, or a dancing California raisin. So I buried my finger cymbals along with my dream. But it’s still a secret fantasy of mine, well, I guess not so secret anymore.
It got me to thinking though, what are my other dream jobs? Besides you know, the whole professional writer/actor thang I aspire to everyday. And I started to wonder, what are my friends’ secret aspirations? I took a brief, yet entirely scientific survey. Here’s some answers:
-BBQ champion
-Ghost hunter
-World-wide traveling food critic
-Secret Agent
-Pro Dirt Bike Racer
And mine:
-Helicopter pilot
-Detective
-And of course, a belly dancer
What are yours suckas?
That summer night I realized that I always wanted to be that woman, eating a perfect burrito, listening to exotic music, surrounded by thousands of people who have millions of stories. I’m no longer just a weird girl who grew up in a teepee, a weird girl who always wore finger cymbals. I’m now the weird woman who grew up in a teepee, eating the perfect burrito amongst thousands of strangers, all of us in the midst of creating a new story. And in that delicious moment of human experience and contentment, I realized for the first time that some of my dreams have already come true. Fuck yeah!
Reader Comments (25)
Wow, wish i could have been at the bowl with you guys, i love ravi and anoushka, and that whole scene. i, too, had fantasies about being a belly dancer, but that was in my 20's. i was kind of a retard at mastering the cymbals, though. i think i WAS a belly dancer in a past life, only without cymbals. So, we look forward to hearing about your mystery gig upon your return, sounds like something that could lead to more gigs??? Now, let's recap... you quit your job, jumped into the void, and cool stuff has been happening to you ever since. Is that about right?
Some dream/jobs i fantasize about......an inventor (i want to make a small personal flying saucer to get around in...no more than 2 minutes to get anywhere). an ice-cream maker using my own secret recipe with no or low sugar, raw milk and organic ingredients, that tastes just as decadent as ben and jerry's). travel the world, collect instruments from every indigenous culture and tribe, bring it home, and create some very cool meditation music. Become a meditation music mogul.
- CIA
- Paleontologist
- Awesomest Chef ever, that owns awesomest restaurant ever
Dude, you're so freaking cool. And hilarious. I could totally see you as a belly dancin detective!!
Where are you goin?!?! I cant take the mystery! Me must know now.
Back when the earth was young... I wanted to be a doughnut maker, in the army. An enlisted doughnut maker. There are no reasons for this sort of thing.
Ninja
Pro Surfer
Savion Glover
Some badass chick who gets to shoot a lot of guns (Matrix style)
Lawnmower
Sea Turtle Whisperer
Pro Belcher...oh wait, already am.....
I was obsessed with Indiana Jones growing up and so I dressed up like him one Halloween. I was so proud of my effort on this costume. I poured my heart and soul into this one and had every detail worked out. If painted on some scruff to my ten year old face. Then it happened, I rang the doorbell to a house in the neighborhood and an old guy answered. Uh Oh! He said to me as he was slipping a shinny new apple into my treat bag, "Awe, what are you, a Lion Tamer?" A LION TAMER! My life at that moment was ruined...
ps
Hey mister! What kid wants an apple on Halloween?
an anthropologist or the indigenous tribal man the anthropologist is studying
Sounds like a fun night. With a capital FUH! I always wanted to be a long distance truck driver as a kid. I thought it was the most awesome job ever. Driving a huge rig through big countryside and different places and sleeping in the cab. Sign me up!
I'm still sort of sad I never went for it.
Then I wanted to be a stewardess or a pilot but I'm not a big fan of flying. Which usually is detrimental in those jobs.
Good luck with your "gig".
Dream jobs (at one point or another):
Marine Biologist - basically just swimming with whales and dolphins and communing
Travel Channel Host - checking out great places to eat, explore, and get pampered at
Car Tester
Critic - of anything, movies, food, spas, cars, etc.
Fashion Designer
Assassin
Superhero
Archaelogist - Indiana Jones style
Instead...I'm a Civil Engineer. ha ha, quite a bit different
Elvis impersonating Kayak Guru/Superhero. KAYAKELVIS LIVES!!!!!.......
Welllll....Damn, Priscilla.....I already DO that....
But Getting PAID for paddling around in a white sequined Paddling jacket and matching white sequined 19 ft Race kayak, Wearing my Rubber Elvis mask/hat and Mirrored Gold rimmed Elvis glasses, While saving the lives of errant Coast Guard Captains and VLBWs (Very Large Breasted Women) who are foundering in big surf Off the Alaskan Coastline. Yesssss........ Oh, and doing hunka hunka burnin On the water wedding ceremonies at 500$ a pop....in full KayakElvis Drag.......
Stay Tuned, Foos, Cause I don't believe in not living your dreams. So I'm headin there.
And if any of you know where I can Get me up a hunka hunka Pure White Paddling Drytop, lemme know....I can't seem to find one, even though I have a sequin slave all lined up to do the sequins and evuhthang....
Pirate. Please have a big stinking party in SoCal that we can come to as our shouldabeen selves.
Anything to do with listening to other people's conversations, so a spy/detective. Or working in a museum so that something similar to Night at the Museum would happen.
Good luck on your super top secret mission, though I do HATE not knowing what you're doing. Maybe I should start my spy/detective career now?
You crack me up as always.
You're gonna be a belly dancer!!!!!! I KNOW it!!
I'd love to be a journalist or a spy!!!
Isn't it amazing how the most mundane of everyday experiences can be so interesting. It's all about how you craft it in words. Hope you have a wonderful trip. Can't wait to hear what the mystery tour is all about. Stay safe and have fun!
I'm going to do it...just watch...:)
Homies, I have ridiculously limited internet time--like 3 minutes a day---sorry this is brief! I LOVE all of your answers!!!
Benjies: I want one of your saucers STAT!
KM: aweosme and awesome!
Ronny: Thankee!
BenBen: omg, i'm dying to tell you guys! Literally insane.
Sucsatlife: HIIIIILARIOUS!
Boober: You're already a badass, duh!
Kneebucks: Lion tamer, hahaha!
JE: Yes, please become a tribal man!
Veggie: Oh yeah! I wanted to be a truck driver too, just to pull their horns!
C Ros: Rad, rad, and rad. I can see you doing any and all of those!
Rosamand: As per usual, fucking hilarious. You rule.
Zoots: Good call! Genius!
Elise: Oh yeah, good one! And I know, super secret. Cannot wait to tell you about it. I might fall a few days behind your blog, sorry! But I'll catch up, promise!
Jules: Oh yeah, you'd be a sexy spy!
Jen: Thanks, Jen! And you're totally right. Staying safe so far, having fun, that's a different story. All part of the experience though!
mr12: yes you are baby!
UGH... i've ALWAYS wanted to be a detective/spy. just so i could wear the trenchcoat, mainly.
other than a writer, obviously, i'd say it goes:
SPY
ACTRESS
CLOTHING DESIGNER
RYAN SEACREST
BBQ champion!!!!!!!
And now I'm hungry...
Blunt: Oh the trenchcoat is seriously smokin' hot. I support your effort in becoming a spy.
LiLu: Holy shit, me too! I just learned you can barbeque spaghetti--wtf right?!
"boobies are nippin" aww shit I miss ya Buffy! haha
Sal: I miss you Lamthong!!
A novelist with three books on the best seller list, with the movie rights sold to all three!
hiya
just signed up and wanted to say hello while I read through the posts
hopefully this is just what im looking for looks like i have a lot to read.
Myncedgense: Great having you! Welcome!