Little of This, Little of That
Monday, November 15, 2010 at 4:20PM Oh hello there. Hiya! Hi. I missed you.
I’ve been busy, oh so busy. My job is 100 parts insanity right now. Combined with an abundance of social obligations and a month of houseguests, every second of every day is hectic. I’m stretched thin (my patience, not my thighs).
The good news is that my acting career is gaining momentum, but the bad news is that on top of my already jam packed work days, it’s challenging to carve out enough time to focus and properly prepare for auditions. But such is life. My anxiety level is off the charts, but sista’s gotta work so I need to figure out the balance, plain and simple.
I also need to find time to write. But when I do squeeze in moments, like now, all I can think of are mental queefs such as: getting fat is the coolest thing that Jessica Simpson’s ever done. I actually kind of respect her now.
Besides hiccups of pithy ponderings, I pretty much got nothin. I want to take all of your amazing suggestions and continue with Fiktion, but right now that seems about as likely as growing a cup size. I don’t have enough time to reflect on anything with a writer’s brain. The only things I could bore you with are stories about neurotic actors, self-important directors, and the full spectrum of auditions—from hero to zero, and back again.
Like last week during a callback when I had to stare at an imaginary prostate exam while making absolutely no expression. Blank face. I felt like such an arteest. Or when in another callback I had to throw a Frisbee while saying my lines. Being that my Fris skillz are, lessee, sucky, I hit the director in the head.
Ruh roh.
Currently my life is consumed with moments like that (and better ones, in which I don’t physically assault those in the power to give me work). And lots of running around, lots and lots of that. And changing clothes. Lots of changing clothes and changing personas. At 11:30 I might be a medical student, at 12:15 a teacher, and by 3:00 a talk show host. It’s a fucking blast really.
But I miss you. Perhaps one day soon (please, please, please!) I’ll be earning my keep by acting and I won’t need the supplementary day job. So I’ll have more time for writing. And sleeping. And following FJG. Here’s a recent pic courtesy of RE.
Now if that's not magic, I don't know what is.
Reader Comments (26)
Best picture EVER.
That is a ridiculous story about you, the fris, and the director's head! Holy shit dude.
I feel you on this. I've had zero time and motivation to put pen to paper. Maybe it's in the air?
Ronny: Right? Magic.
Jeff B: Yeah, it was pretty mortifying. Thank god they didn't ask me to throw knives.
LuLu: That would make me feel better. From here on out, I'm blaming it on the air.
I would ALSO like to grow a cup size.
Hitting the director in the head is something I'm sure I'd do, if I ever decided to get back into the scary, scary, vulnerable crazy world that is acting. My hat is off to you for being able to do it without crawling into the fetal position and just losing it.
GOOD LUCK on those auditions!
Total magic! I'm glad you are doing well! I miss ya!
Hey, a HHH this morning, with a yuck or two! Been a long time, Baby. That FJG pic should be a Hollywood postcard. Ever thought of supplimenting your decretionary cash with Hollywood postcards? I'm working with you here so as to get more HHH.
I celebrate the entire catalog of your mental queefs. Go get famous. I'll be here waiting. *slurp*
Sounds like good news!!! That is awesome!! Can't wait to hear more!!!xxoo
We like your pithy ponderings....please, let it rip! Hope you land a commercial or a part with all that auditioning, real soon! You are right about finding the
balance when there's so much going on, but it can be found, staying balanced becomes 'one more thing' you have to do... it forces me to be more
efficient with my time, it makes me cut out what i don't really need, and it makes me focus more on 'quality' than quantity...anyhow, i know if you keep going
for it, you WILL succeed. I know you know this, but you and i know we can never hear this too many times....in fact, it's become my constant mantra, come hell or high water, rain or shine....no time to think negative anymore. I'm just flat out fed up with my pissing and moaning, and whining, and moodiness, and my little snits, bitchy self-nagging, etc etc. I take being too busy as a blessing nowadays cuz i just don't have time for pity parties, blame games, or
anything equally life-sucking. And being reminded of Fairfax Jesus on a regular basis doesn't hurt either, so if you don't remind me, who will? (I'm not
sure what it is about FJG....)
i wonder who's star he's standing on? must be someone blessed.
J: Oh, I crawl into the fetal position daily! :)
Jules: Thanks, MG! I miss you too!
HillOfBeans: FANTASTIC idea!!! I just need a little start-up moola. Why does everything require money?!
Elly: Aww, goddamn, I love you and your slurping!
Rebecca: Momentum baby! Now I just need some bookings!
Olivia: Amen, amen, and halelujiah! (I can never figure out how to spell that shit.) You're so awesome. And yes, we can never really hear that enough can we? Thanks for the pep talk, ALWAYS grateful for that!! Oh, and FJG for life!
Hank Jr: Now I'm really curious. May have to round up a field trip.
Hey hey hey! There you are! We've missed you too.
I'd love to hear all about the other actors etc. Keep it coming. TWSS.
Love the pic. :)
Aren't commercial auditions just the best?! Sigh. Who doesn't love showing up in the ugliest bridesmaid dress and talking to a refridgerator like it's your best friend, or having to speak an entire audition out of the corner of your mouth while you're lip locked to some fugly guy, or bouncing up and down over an apple while some dude checks out your ass, or lining up for a coca cola audition where the line up looks like this "5'10 model, 5'9 model, 6 ft. model, 5'10 model, 5'3 shortaaaay non-model.....one of these things is not like the other", or still the best is having to spin back in forth in a chair in front of an airplane engine sized fan trying to give model looks with your face while your hair is in every orifice and screaming your name for cover girl. It's a wonder I didn't book any of those.....(actually I did book the bouncing up and down over an apple commercial, go figure). I mean, it's no Sizzler shrimp hand modeling, but hey. haha. I know I will be seeing your face on the TV any day now. And then we'll all say we knew you when.......
Alyson: You would not even believe the actor stories! They're outrageous. But I think the directors might be worse...
Boober: Commercial auditions really are the best (and by best I mean worst). Recently my favs are, "Okay, just do nothing." Really? Wow. Just wow. I've been getting that a lot lately. "Just stand there and do nothing." So inspiring! Haha. I'll tell you what is inspiring though -- $50,000. That's right, I'm a sell out.
Good luck on your auditions. And FJG totally magical.
Good luck on your auditions. And FJG totally magical.
Toe: Thankee! And totes magical right?
Oh, come on.....Growing a cup size isn't all that hard, really.
I know lotsa guys who've done it....gone from micro manboobie A- cups to a full fledged bodacious C cup Mangazongas in no time at all.
Vavoom.
And it IS Thanksgiving this week, Buff.
SO stuff all that that turkey and pie down, and pray that it goes to your poor little titties, and not your gluteals.
It helps to do alot of headstands while digesting. Really.
Worked fine for John Goodman. No, wait.......
Rosamond: Okaaaaaay, I'm taking your word for it. I'll be eating pumpkin pie upside down from now on!
Great pic! We've missed you. Will you still answer our comments and e-mails when you are famous hanging with the likes of Brangelina, TomKat and all those other celebs overexposed by the media? I've been busy too and not doing much writing. But, my life is far more boring and mundane than yours. Have a wonderful holiday.
Jen: I will most decidely never be too cool to return emails or answer comments! Haha! I miss you too, Jen! I hope you're having a great December and have a relaxing Holiday (is that even possible?).
Where you at, Charlet? Stop being a grown-up and entertain us.
In the meantime, have a lovely Christmas! x
I totally understand you! My posts in the past few months have been as chaotic as my life. It's practically impossible to sound coherent when nothing else in your life is. However, I'm super excited to hear about the acting and wish you the absolute best! JS getting fat WAS awesome but the mom jeans she wore onstage were NOT.
Happy Holidays!!!!
-Cindy