The Power of Matt Damon, and some other crap
Friday, December 31, 2010 at 4:21PM
Oh well hello there. Long time no HHH cluttering your inbox and tormenting your brain with photos of men with vagina mouths.
Unlucky for you, I’m back. Momentarily at least. I’ve missed you.
I wish I could explain my absence. Life just said, “Hey batta batta batta! Heeey batt-a!” and swung a billy club at my gut.
It’s been a shitquake. A really, really bad thing happened in the spring and then another really, very bad thing happened this fall (all details must be kept private unfortunately; I know, totes lame bloggy move, sorrs).
2010 was hard. And I worked a lot. My life became less my life and more about treading water, gasping for breath.
I don’t ever want to stop breathing again. It happens so easily here, in this city of sprawling energy. When crises happen, and keep on happening, I want to learn to keep space for calm. When excitement happens, I want to learn how to rest. In 2011, I want to develop a piercing light in my brain, through the muck of uncertainty and distress, and through the glitter of hope and good fortune. I want to learn to keep in the middle of me, rather than dashing every which way like a spreading rash.
I want my focus back.
2010 hasn’t been all assgravy and crapcakes though. There’s been lots of fun to be had. Lots of parties. And I’ve learned a few things. Such as:
-Drinking Pedialite cures a hangover. (thank you MR)
-Hanging in there and sticking it out pays off. Except when it doesn’t pay off. But then at least you know.
-White people fear god. Black people love god. (thank you MH)
And,
-Matt Damon has the power to make even the straightest dude at least a little bit gay.
I hope 2011 proves to be even more educational. Without all the shitquakes.
Reader Comments (33)
Yay! You're back!! I'll take what I can get. :)
Oh man, I'm so sorry HHH. I hope everything's okay? Stay strong. We're here if you need to vent. Oh, and I love Matt Damon too!
I'm FU@#ING Matt Damon!
Hope 2011 makes up for 2010, glad you're back. xoxo
May the piercing Lght be with you, be with us all!
It's just a number (which we made up) about time (which we made up), but doesn't a new year just stink of new beginnings?
I missed my blog crush. Welcome back.
trying to post comments, not getting through, haluuuu, you there, HHH?
Sorry we missed seeing you at J&C's x-mas bash!! Hope all is well for twenty - eleven!
Shitquakes and all, you are still one of the most honest and funny and honestly funny people on this here Interwebs thingee. Right now, I'm holding up the canopy of 2010's crap for you so you can slip underneath it. Enjoy what's on the other side.
2011 will be a festival of awesome,dude. I have a theory that once you have the suckiest year there is, the following one attempts to right the universe by providing you with a paradise of perfection. At least in my brain it does. My brain is never wrong. Except when it is. Hope NYE was fun? It was minus 24 here and I spent it on the couch with a hot water bottle cursing my lady cramps and watching "Knocked Up" on TV. :) I didn't even have a drink. WTF? Tonight though I have drinking plans, oh yes. You will get that sparkling toast!
Getting Matt Damon in the sack would be my 2011 resolution if he didn't have kids and a wife...my fantasies are moral like that.
Glad you're back. Blog through it all. 2010 is now just a memory. An at times stupid, relentless, memory.
Here's to success love and more sex in 2011. :)
Damn, Girl! Don't leave me again! I miss you too much!!!!!! I hope 2011 is MUCH better for you!!!!!!!
yay:) good to hear from you and aahhh...the power of matt !!
Hey lady! Glad you're back. I'm sorry 2010 was so rough for you - it was here as well, but I know 2k11 will be rocking and fucking awesome. Love you!!
It's good to have you back. 2010 was a roller coaster year for me as well. Here's hoping we both have a better year in 2011.
Urgh, boo for shitquakes. Hope everything is okay now. Not breathing sucks. Happy new year! x
I'm so glad you're back. It's been a long time. Even with you being gone for a month and a half you get more comments than I do when only gone a week. People love to read what you have to say. Hoping this is a better year to come!
hey buff'age.
miss you. love you. it's been way too long.
cheers to a non shitquakey 2011.
tim
Buffy, Happy 2011! Recently i had an amazing session with a tarot person, who told me suffering, when you really learn from it, results in the change you want, and i was happy to hear those words, cuz even tho i know it's true, i lose that perspective when it's just me talking to me. I'm sure you will find the 'middle' spot, it does take time and practice and i am sure you will start get more grounded in that place. Like everyone here has said, we missed hearing from you, and we know you can't tell us 'everything', but we are all ears for anything you want to say, believe me. I hope you keep up this blog, because i think we all love your combination of brutal honesty, humor and f bombery to be totally irresistable. It reminds me really of keeping a diary, only it's a blog, and we can all live vicariously, as well as move forward with you. And thanks for the tip about pedialite, i will definitely check that out..... !
I have a piercing light in my vagina. I'll show you. That'll make 2011 even better.
Amen Sister!
2011 baby! Love you!
Lou: :)
Ronny: Thanks dude, rock on.
Boober: Wait, you fucking ARE Matt Damon or you're FUCKING Matt Damon? Either way, I'm in.
Zoe Moon: Zoe! Thanks for dropping by. Jon and I were just talking about you...we'll be calling you soon. :)
Mama B: A-women!!
Putweet: Aww! :) And hellz to the yeah, new beginnings baby!
Zoots: I'm heeeeeeeere! You're heeeeeeeere! Yay.
Kim: Missed you both!!
LoLo: Wow, what a cool comment, thank you LoLo! And thank you for the shelter from the shit. I'm slip-slidin' away from it.
Veggie: My dear, Veg. Dude, I hope to hell you're right; I'm thinking you are cuz you always are. And F those lady cramps! F 'em right in the butt! Toast to you my friend. :)
J: Hellz to the yeah ladybird! I love your wish for 2011! Suh-weetness.
Jules: I miss you!! I'm stopping by your quarter next!