Skate Your Tits Off
Tuesday, November 17, 2009 at 11:45PM Sometimes you just really have to party your genitals off. There’s no way around it. You just have to let go of your schedule, your plans, your diet, your obligations, your whatever-the-hells and BLOW. IT. OUT.
I don’t do this very often, primarily because I hate the anxiety, guilt-trips, hangovers and exhaustion that comes with the day-after. But a few times a year I act like I’m 18 and was just released from house arrest.
Once a year my L.A. Homitos and I go to one of the best parties ever conceivable—a roller skating party. A friend of ours rents out the entire roller rink and then a couple hundred of us show up in any and every form of ridiculous costume imaginable. It’s so much better than Halloweiner because you don’t have to be anything specific, you just go balls out, wearing whatever the hell you want. A moustache, a wig, and sequin pants? Perf. A captain’s hat and a cape? Fab.
Oh, and it’s BYOB. Yeeeaaah.
For me, it’s not so much about the roller skating (but man, that’s pretty awesome too), but about totally letting go and making an ass out of myself. Just for one night not taking everything so seriously.
This year, since I don’t have a steady income, I was really reluctant to buy a new costume. In fact, I almost didn’t. I tried on this dress that I immediately fell in love with (yards and yards of lace and pink ribbon—how could you not love that?), but the naggy fuddy-duddy in me put it back on the rack and left the store.
The next day I couldn’t stop thinking about that acre of ribbon and lace absurdity. You know those items that you don’t buy, but they continue to haunt you: “Oh sucka, I would’ve made you so happy!” That voice and the voices of my friends telling me to get my priorities straight (Pink dress vs. groceries? Pink dress absolutely.) incited me to go back and drop the 25 bones and make that little baby mine.
Best decision of my life.
It’s sort of a cross between a square dancing outfit and the dress a Mexican girl would wear on her Quinceanera. Clearly I had to have it.
Everyone’s costumes were nothing less than amazical and we all really let loose. I was up till 5am. I felt like a bag of horseshit the next day, but through the hangover, the wobbly legs and the lack of sleep, I felt a certain lightness. The lightness you only feel when you tell your inner fuddy-duddy to stop being such a controlling a-hole, drop the agenda, and let the girl in the pink ribbons and lace come out and play. Here’s to blowin’ it out.
Reader Comments (26)
Yup. Anyone choosing groceries over that FINE GARMENT needs to be disowned immediately. That dress is FANTASTIC. The only sad thing about it is, it doesn't get worn EVERY day.
I love roller skating. Not inline - I can't do that fancy shit at all without looking like I'm already hammered and possibly half paralyzed, but the old school kind with the four wheels on the corners where God intended. Those things are the bomb. Even though last time I attempted to skate (sober) I almost ended my life prematurely in front of a bus.... Hmmm. I seem to remember as a kid I could skate on a razor blade if someone asked. I was skating queen. Now, not so much.
Here's to letting your hair down.
OMG...soooo friggin true.
I need to have me one of those pink lace dress days! For sure!!
Can I borrow?
:)
Oh...you look marvelous and I'm sure you were the only one that showed up in your dress right? No catwalk fights cause someone else found the same exact thing?
Tired...long fun night at work...wrote about it...posting it later.
Wow! Your life is so incredibly fun and light and entertaining! You need your own tv show!
Oh yeah! You look awesome!! It's much better to go hungry for a week than to not have that dress! And paired with skates? Holy shit.
Consider e-bay for re-couping your 25 bucks. Outside of Gollywood, that baby would be hard to find... everyone wins.
I love that dress. It's so awesome, and I"m glad you made the better decision to buy the dress vs. groceries. Next time you visit the RNO in the summer time, we should go to Retro Skate night at Northstar. It's free every Tuesday night and people dress in "retro" costumes, whatever you want that to be. Love the blog - keep it up!
Totes jeals. I want one of those dresses for my hoe downs in NC.
Veggie: You're so rad. You clearly need to skate STAT! For me, it doesn't matter where the wheels are aligned, I can't skate worth shit. But I sure do love trying!
Rambler: Ha! Yeah, no one else had that little gem. Can you imagine if there were two in the world? You can MOS DEF borrow!!
Jules: TV show YES YES! Come to mama! ;)
Elise: Thanks lady! And yeah, food? Bah. Who needs it?!
Zoots: Gooooood call! Maybe I can turn a profit! But I dunno, I might not be able to let go of it now...
C Ros: Um YES! That sounds holy fab!!! Can't wait!
Mr. Beane: You shoulda been there :(
Is it weird if I borrow that dress? :)
I don't know how to roller skate, but I definitely know how to make an ass out of my self!!! That sounds amazing!!
I'm so glad you shut up your inner fuddy-duddy cuz that looks like the experience of a lifetime! Good for you! Way awesome.
BenBen: Oh not at all!
Ronny: That's most important part!
Guru Skate: It really was, thank you! Love your name btw.
Love the dress. You look hot. Wish I got to go.
I'd ask to borrow your dress for the annual Mount Rose "ladies" transvestite ski day in February (10 dollar tickets to any guy in a dress!!! WOOOHOOOO!!!), but I'm 6'4"....and alot bigger in the shoulders than you, and with my big ol double E cup helium balloon knockers I wear that one day a year, I'd definitely stretch it out way beyond the point of no return...... So maybe I'll hafta get one of those Bitchin Pink Quincaneria dresses of my very OWN!!! Except that us "girls" have decided to go this year as the ladies from "Kill Bill". And I look FAB in Yellow, so I get to Be Beatrix Kiddeaux, with my Hatori Hanso Sword, yellow Nike Jogging suit, Yellow Nikes, and thin black eyeliner. Here's last year's dress.....See what I mean? Us Blondes are all about Yellow.
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30288876&id=1300687088
Flashback: 5 year old Buffy running around in the chicken yard wearing only a pink tutu. You come by this naturally.
AMEN!! I second that. You need at least one good alcohol induced throw-up a year. So you can be like "Fuck yeah, I still got it."
Kneebucks: You're too kind. ;)
Rosamond: Holy crap, that photo is amazing!!! Yellow really is your color. You're a crazy mofo and I love it!
Mama-B: I guess I haven't really changed that much have I? :)
Caroline: Hahaha!!!
Love it!!! I love roller skating!!! I too suffer from the inner boring worry wart...blablabla!! Fun is fun, no doubt about it!!! And look how girlie you are!!! 5 yrs old in your pink tutu!!! ... I saw that from mama-b!! Ha!! So cute.. little buffarina!!! ;)
That's actually a beautiful dress.....fantastic eye candy
So then....know any small asian males in Reno who Tele ski pretty well, don't mind dressing in a white ceremonial Kimono or a Japanese schoolgirl outfit, and who'd wanna be Go-GoO Yibari and O-Ren-Ishi-i ??
Cause we're accepting applications for team tranny for next time up there....
Oh, and they have to be willing to be in a swordfight. And lose.
the world is a better place with that dress out of the store and in your closet (or are you still wearing it 5 days later?)
Rebecca: Can you even believe how girlie I am in that dress?! Ridic right! Truth be told, I loved every minute of it. It was totally the 5 year old in me!
Benjies: Thanks, Benjies!
Rosamond: You know what, I don't think I know any Asian males in Reno. Weird right? That sounds like an awesome team though so I'll think about it...
JE: I'm still wearing it. Never. Gonna. Take. It. Off.
okay. how cool is that dress?
i probably need to throw on a dress and party my tits off a little more often.
until then, i'll just let you tell me all about it.
keep up the great writing!
Tim: You absolutely do! I'm mandating it. ;)
That dress just pants-tented me...viva nachos!